


Four Days that Changed Emerson Kent's Life, and One That Soon Will

by Maddalia



Category: Whitechapel (TV)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-20
Updated: 2013-04-20
Packaged: 2017-12-09 00:16:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 973
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/767761
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maddalia/pseuds/Maddalia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>"Maybe love transcended sexuality and stopped it mattering so much."</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	Four Days that Changed Emerson Kent's Life, and One That Soon Will

_Monday._

It was a Monday when he came into the office for the first time. The rest of the team didn't know what to make of him at first. By the end of the day, they knew exactly -- a toff, a neat freak, a fast-tracker; they'd had men like him before. You left them at their desks and you got on with the real policing. This new bloke might be under the illusion that he was different, but the Whitechapel team knew differently.

Emerson Kent knew differently, but he wasn't about to treat Chandler with the contempt the others felt he deserved. He still remembered what it was like to be the new boy. If Chandler wasn't up to his job, that just made it harder, didn't it? Like the one boy who stood by the bullied kid, Kent passed Chandler the chalk he asked for.

He'd been all three in his time -- the bully, the bullied, the protector. He was still coming to realise: that was what it meant to be a policeman.

Kent wondered if Joseph Chandler knew that, or whether he knew something different.

_Tuesday._

It was a Tuesday when Kent realised just who Joe Chandler was. Everything he appeared to be on the outside, and so much more underneath. Like most people, really, except that Chandler was special. Everything he appeared to be on the outside -- good looking, softly spoken, intelligent, highly strung, obsessive-compulsive, well dressed, arrogant without being obnoxious about it -- Kent found himself wanting to emulate. The "so much more", he found himself wanting to know.

He soon learnt that Chandler wasn't the pen-pushing, selfish, ladder-climbing non-copper that the team had expected to be burdened with. He was brave and he was loyal and he was dedicated. He'd faced death to catch the Ripper and if he _had_ ever flinched, he'd carried on regardless. Perhaps even more bravely, he had stood up to the men in authority, he'd cut his ties, said goodbye to the easy route through his career. Oh, he'd never said as much, but it must have happened, or he wouldn't have stayed, would he?

Thank God he stayed...

Because he was a damned good detective, and the department was better off with him around.

Because he was vulnerable, for all his strength, and the team helped keep him sane.

Because Kent had realised who Chandler was, and he didn't want to lose him.

 

_Wednesday._

It was a Wednesday when Kent realised the full nature of his feelings: that admiration was also attraction, that respect was...well,  _respect,_ but of a deeper kind. That hero-worship, and the warm feelings of friendship which had come out of it, were all that and more. They were love, too.

Love...

Kent had never thought he was gay. A late developer, perhaps, and not particularly skilled on the pull, but his partners had always been female. He'd decided lately that he was better off alone. He could never give a girl the time he felt she deserved, not with his job. No matter how much they said they understood, they didn't. How could they?

Joe --  _he_ understood. Maybe that was what it was, the commonality of purpose. The  _loneliness_ of the job, like breeding like. Maybe it had nothing to do with sexuality at all. Maybe that longing to touch was a natural reaction, the extension of a psychological reaching-out.

OK, then, why did he find him so beautiful? Why did he dream about him, awake and asleep...why did he think about him when he was in the shower, and...oh, God, it made him blush just to remember it.

Maybe he wasn't straight or gay, maybe he was nothing in particular; maybe love transcended sexuality and stopped it mattering so much.

Whatever it was, Kent was in trouble.

 

_Thursday._

It was a Thursday when Kent finally got up the nerve to tell him. Braced himself for the searing pain of rejection, and, bloody hell, he got it, too.

He could have handled anger, contempt, even mocking, more than what he ought to have expected of Joe Chandler: bemusement, followed by an awkward attempt at kindness.

'I didn't realise -- I suppose I  _ought_ to have realised.'

'It's not your fault, sir,' Kent muttered.

'It's nothing personal, you know.' Chandler's fingers flew to his temples, as they always did when he was stressed. 'I'm not gay. I'm not...I'm not really...it's hard to explain.'

'I don't know  _what_ I am. I might be both...I might be latently gay...I've no idea, sir...Joe. I'm just the guy who loves you.' Kent shrugged hopelessly.

'Then I'm sorry for you,' said Chandler. And, poor bloke, he really  _did_ look sorry. 'I'm sorry to hurt you. But even if I  _were_ gay -- you don't want  _me._ ' Kent opened his mouth to argue, but Chandler rushed over him. 'Or if you do now, you wouldn't carry on. Relationships...I can't... they're just not something I can do. I'd have to be able to change, and I...can't.'

'Why would I want to change the man who's perfect for me as he is?'

Chandler's eyes flooded with compassion, as Kent knew  _his_ would soon flood with tears. He'd take his old refuge in the car park; he knew well when that need came over him. It hadn't in a long while, though, and never because of something like this...

'Kent,' Chandler said. His eyes pleaded: don't be miserable because of me. And Kent wanted to oblige him. He'd rather have been angry. He wanted to lash out. Say something like: 'Don't tell me what I want!' Or: 'Don't tell me what to feel!'

'It's alright, sir. I understand.'

He said it because it was true.

 

_Friday._

It was a Friday when Chandler changed his mind. But Kent doesn't know it yet.


End file.
